The Digiplaneteers
by TheHineyGods
Summary: Captain Planet parody. Takuya and the gang fight a bad guy. And who is playing the part of Captain Planet?


Disclaimer: We don't own Digimon... pity... Or Captain Planet... Or Power Rangers... Or Veggie Tales(though this has nothing to do with the fic...)...  
  
Yeah, we crossed Captain Planet and Digimon Frontier. And we used the dub names... God forbid we do anything else to disrupt the digital world...  
  
-  
  
(The Digimon Frontier opening begins. The normal theme begins to play, but is soon overshadowed by an extremely loud version of the Captain Planet theme song. Upon the ending of the opening, Digimon Frontier is crossed off above our heroes' heads and "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" is scrawled over it.)  
  
Takuya and crew stood near a Trailmon, bidding it goodbye. As it pulled off, and the group finally stopped waving, Takuya's D-Tector began beeping wildly.  
  
"What the --" Takuya was cut off by an unfamiliar voice emitted from the D-Tector.  
  
"Planeteers, we've just received news that Evil Scum Bunny, Cherubimon, has been spotted dumping toxic waste into ponds where Fishmon live. Please, save the Fishmon and defeat Evil Scum Bunny once and for all!"  
  
As Takuya moved to question the odd request, his D-Tector screen went blank. All was silent for a moment before everyone opened their mouths to speak.  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
"What are they talking about? We aren't here to save Fishmon."  
  
"Why'd they call us Planeteers?"  
  
"I'm hungry."  
  
"What am I doing here?"  
  
At the last question, everyone turned to Kouji.   
  
"What? I want to know what I'm doing here," he stated, crossing his arms over his chest.  
  
"What do you mean? You're here to help us save the digital world Kouji," Takuya said.  
  
"I'm not Kouji. I'm his previously evil twin, Kouichi."  
  
"Oh," everyone muttered in unison.  
  
"Then where's Kouji?" Tommy asked, looking up at Kouichi curiously.  
  
"How'm I supposed to know? I don't even know why I'M here. How would I know where he was?" Kouichi growled, glaring at Tommy.  
  
"Okay, so let me - Tommy, stop crying, he wasn't trying to be mean - get this straight. Kouichi, you don't know how you got here. Kouji is missing. And somebody wants us to save some Fishmon from Cherubimon." Takuya ticked these things off on his fingers as he said them.   
  
"Yeah, that seems to be it," Zoe replied, looking around the group.  
  
"Well, it seems to me that we should get some food... then figure this out," J.P. said happily, rubbing his growling stomach.  
  
The rest of the group sighed then followed as J.P. led them off to the nearest town.  
  
  
  
After finding a restaurant and eating their fill, the group sat around the table wondering what to do next. As if to answer their question, Bokomon and Neemon arrived.   
  
"This is for you five," Bokomon said, placing a fairly small box in front of Takuya.  
  
He pulled the lid off and looked down to find five colored sticks with a note attached to each.   
  
"J.P., Zoe, Tommy, Kouichi, and me," Takuya muttered as he handed out the colored sticks.  
  
"Why do I get green?" J.P. grumbled, holding up the ugly green stick.  
  
"Green? I have PINK," Kouichi complained, looking down at his stick.  
  
As the group argued over whose stick was worse, Bokomon took the box and looked down into it. A note was tucked under the flap at the bottom, almost hidden from sight. He pulled it out and began reading it.  
  
"Zoe - white. Represents wind. Tommy - blue. Represents water. Takuya - red. Represents fire. J.P. - green. Represents earth. Kouichi - pink. Represents heart."   
  
Silence fell over the table.  
  
"Oh, and it says that I'm supposed to sit on Kouichi's shoulder and give him advice in a language he can understand," Bokomon finished. He promptly climbed up onto Kouichi's shoulder and proclaimed, "Ubbie dubbie!" The others glanced from Bokomon to the doorway that he was pointing at, then to Kouichi.  
  
"What'd he say?" Tommy asked curiously, staring at the pair, then at the door, which led to nothing but outside.  
  
"How am I supposed to know?" Kouichi snapped moodily, glaring down at the youngest Chosen Child. This caused him to sniffle and fight back tears.  
  
"Oh, come on, Tommy," Takuya said cheerfully, attempting to console the boy. "Kouichi didn't mean to sound so mean." He patted Tommy on the back until he had calmed down.  
  
"I think Bokomon wants us to go find Cherubimon," Zoe spoke up after a short silence.  
  
The said Digimon flailed his arms happily and jumped up and down on Kouichi's shoulder. "Blubbie dubbie!" he exclaimed, nodding.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes." Takuya stood up and everyone followed suit.  
  
And so, with their newly acquired knowledge of their mission, they set off to seek out the Evil Scum Bunny, Cherubimon. But, as things would have it, something went wrong.  
  
As they were strolling through some random dark, foreboding forest in the digital world, the only sound beside that of the wind whistling through the branches of the bare trees was Kouichi's barely audible grumbling under his breath about pink sticks and insane Digimon on his shoulder.  
  
"Eww, something is really starting to smell," J.P. complained, pinching his nose with two fingers. Everyone else blinked, sniffed the air then adopted similar expressions of disgust.  
  
Takuya pulled his shirt up over his nose, then said in a muffled voice, "Hey, whoever smelt it dealt it." He took a large step away from J.P., and the others did the same, giving him suspicious looks.  
  
"I didn't do it! It smells more like... toxic waste or something," J.P. said with another cautious sniff of the air.  
  
"Hey, what's up with Neemon?" Tommy questioned, bringing everyone's attention to the little Digimon, who was staring blankly at them, twitching.  
  
"I don't know." Takuya squatted down and reached out to Neemon. "Hey, buddy, are you all right?"  
  
Luckily, Takuya had quick reflexes, otherwise he might have had his hand viciously bitten off by a rabid Digimon, and there would have been no way to explain THAT to his parents.  
  
"AHHH!" he screamed, falling backwards onto his rear and scrambling away from Neemon. He closely inspected his hand for damage. "I don't think he got me," the goggle-wearing boy sighed in relief.  
  
"Puny human children," Neemon began in a deep, obviously evil voice, "do you honestly think that you can stop me?"  
  
The group gasped collectively. "He's possessed!" J.P. shrieked, unnecessarily pointing out the obvious.  
  
"I, Cherubimon, the Evil Scum Bunny, will not be thwarted in my ingenious plan to fill the ponds of the Fishmon with toxic waste and destroy them all!" This was accompanied by an evil cackle, which looked rather strange coming from Neemon.  
  
"...And this affects us how?" Kouichi asked, crossing his arms. Bokomon almost lost his footing on the boy's shoulder, but he quickly readjusted himself.  
  
"You, planeteers, are obliged to help, being the meddling fools that you are!"  
  
"Okay, then... is that all?"  
  
Neemon paused in a moment of thought, then replied, "Yes, I believe so. I must be going... and I will take this body as a hostage!" With an insane laugh, he sped off into the black forest, leaving the Chosen Children rather confused.  
  
"I never knew that Cherubimon could do possessions."  
  
Everyone around Takuya shrugged at his comment.  
  
"Well, I guess we have a mission, then," Zoe said, glancing around at the others.  
  
They mumbled in agreement and headed through the brush where Neemon had run off, towards where the pungent smell was getting stronger.   
  
  
  
Not too far from where the "planeteers" were walking through the forest, Cherubimon was standing in a clearing. He cackled and poured another bin of toxic waste into the pond he was standing at the edge of. Neemon was tied to a tree nearby.  
  
"Those planeteers will not stop me this time," the Scum Bunny growled, dumping more waste into the pond.  
  
"Stop right there, you toxic waste-toting freak!" someone yelled from behind him, and Cherubimon turned around to see the five children that he had been grumbling about.  
  
All of them had taken dangerous "butt-kicking" poses, except for Kouichi. He had his arms crossed and looked uninterested. Takuya stepped out of his "fearless leader" pose to point his red stick threateningly at Cherubimon.  
  
"We're here to take you down!"  
  
"I'd like to see you try it!" Cherubimon guffawed.  
  
Takuya aimed his stick at the polluted pond and shouted, "Fire!" The said element spurted from the end of his stick and covered the surface of the pond, engulfing it in flame when the toxic waste in it caught fire.  
  
"Water!" The water from Tommy's stick quickly put out the flames, but overflowed the pond. When the water had drained away, the Fishmon were left flopping on the shore.  
  
"Gasp! I'll save you, Fishmon!" Zoe pointed her stick. "Wind!" The wind formed a tornado and picked up the Fishmon, but didn't drop them back into the water, as expected.  
  
"Earth!" J.P. yelled, and an earthquake shook the area, stopping the tornado. The Fishmon fell back into the still-polluted pond.  
  
"Oh, yes, planeteers, you are to be feared!" Cherubimon laughed, then readied his own attack. "Toxic dust bunnies of doom!"  
  
The little buggers flew at the group, who had no time to run. Kouichi sidestepped the attack, which hit the others. When the dust had cleared, they were in a helpless heap on the ground.  
  
"Scrubbie flubbie ubbie!" Bokomon shouted at them from his perch on Kouichi's shoulder. They looked at him, confused, and he replied, "Call upon Captain Planet, already!"  
  
Without any more delay, they scrambled up and held out their sticks.  
  
"Earth!"  
  
"Fire!" Takuya clacked his stick against J.P.'s.  
  
"Wind!" Clack.  
  
"Water!" Clack.  
  
"...Heart." Clack.  
  
A bright light burst from the touching sticks. When it died down, Kouji was floating in the air, looking baffled. He looked down to find that he was wearing nothing but a pair of shiny, metallic underwear.  
  
"AHH!" He fell to the ground and tried to cover himself up while Takuya nursed a nosebleed and everyone stared.  
  
"What'd going on? Where am I?" he asked, glancing around at the others.  
  
"You're Captain Planet!" Tommy piped up, not at all phased by Kouji's attire. "You've got to stop Cherubimon, the Evil Scum Bunny!"  
  
"Evil... Scum Bunny?" Kouji looked to his brother questioningly, but he only got a shrug in response.  
  
"Well, well, if it isn't Captain Planet," Cherubimon said, reminding everyone that he was still present. "Here to save the lame planeteers?"  
  
"Whatever." Kouji rolled his eyes and stood up, still trying to block himself from view.  
  
"AAAHHHH!!" Cherubimon screamed, lunging at Kouji. He grabbed a few of the Fishmon that had been spared by the tornado/earthquake and hurled them at Kouji.  
  
Kouji sidestepped the Fishmon, allowing them to fly by and knock Bokomon right off of Kouichi's shoulder.  
  
"Hubbie flubbie scubbie!!" Bokomon screeched, batting at the Fishmon that were flapping in his face.  
  
Meanwhile, Cherubimon was chasing Kouji around a tree, J.P. was pulling chocolate bars from who-knows-where while Zoe and Tommy watched in astonishment, Kouichi was wandering toward the pond, possibly in hopes of drowning himself, and Takuya was MIA.  
  
"Stop running Captain Planet. You're more pathetic than your followers. And how is it that you get followers and I don't? You're just a guy in shiny underwear. I, on the other hand, am a giant bunny that enjoys polluting ponds and other such places..." Cherubimon rambled endlessly, causing Kouji to drop to his knees, clutching his head.  
  
"Make him stop!! I can't take it!" Kouji yelled, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth.  
  
"Captain Planet!" Tommy cried. Everyone looked at Kouji, who seemed to be dissolving before their eyes.  
  
"Kill the rabbit," Kouji said just as his head dissolved into nothingness.  
  
"You heard the captain!" Everyone turned to see Takuya marching out from behind a large boulder. "Let's go!"  
  
J.P., Zoe, and Tommy ran to Takuya, holding out their sticks. Kouichi, on the other hand, was holding his head beneath the surface of the pond.   
  
"We have to regroup. Group Kouichi and follow me," Takuya stated, turning back to the boulder. J.P. picked up Kouichi and threw him over his shoulder, running after the rest of the group.  
  
"What are these?" Kouichi asked as J.P. put him down. He was pointing at two crude drawings on the boulder. The first one depicted a massive box that was being held up by a stick with a large bunny under it, chewing a carrot. In the second, a boy with a hat and goggles was standing on top of the box, which was apparently holding the bunny inside. The rest of the group stared at the pictures, obviously confused.  
  
"This is my plan." Takuya puffed out his chest proudly, standing next to the pictures he had drawn. "We get a big box, prop it open with a stick, and put a carrot under it. Cherubimon, being a rabbit, will go under the box to eat the carrot. As he does this, we will pull the rope that is attached to the stick, closing the box and trapping Cherubimon inside. Then we can call on Captain Planet again and he can fix things."  
  
Everyone was now staring at Takuya, their mouths hanging open.   
  
"That's the most stupid plan I've ever heard," Kouichi said flatly. J.P., who was the second one to come of the stupor, nodded his agreement.   
  
"Well, it's the best we have. Let's go!" Takuya cheered, ignoring the looks he was getting from the rest of the "planeteers."   
  
"One question. Where do we get a box that big?" Zoe asked as Takuya began walking off. He chose not to answer this and continued walking.   
  
Thirty minutes later, Takuya was hiding behind a tree, holding the other end of a rope. He had apparently found his giant box and stick. The rest of the group watched from behind the boulder.   
  
"Hmm... what's that I smell? Carrots?!" Cherubimon bounced into sight, sniffing the air hungrily. He made his way to the box and settled under it, munching happily on the carrots Takuya had planted.   
  
"Gotcha!!" Takuya shouted, pulling the rope. Cherubimon let out a howl as the box fell closed over him, trapping him underneath. Takuya ran over and climbed on top, holding his stick in the air triumphantly.   
  
"I can't believe it worked. That idiot's plan actually worked." Kouichi stared at Takuya in disbelief.   
  
"Come on guys! We need Captain Planet to come back and kick butt," Takuya shouted at the rest of the group.   
  
They soon trooped out from behind the boulder and climbed up to stand by Takuya, who held up his stick.   
  
"Earth," J.P. muttered, holding up his stick.  
  
"Fire!" And the clacking began again.  
  
"Wind." Clack.  
  
"Water!" Clack.  
  
"Heart." Clack.   
  
Once again, Kouji appeared in the bright flash of light emitted by their sticks. This time, though, three other guys came through with him. And he was clad in a bathrobe instead of his shiny undies.   
  
Kouji pointed at the box and the three men pushed it away, disappearing into the sunset.  
  
"Who were they, Captain Planet?" Tommy asked in astonishment.   
  
"Men of the law," Kouji replied flatly.  
  
"What? They stand for the law of God?"   
  
"They're police, you moron."  
  
"Oh."  
  
  
  
Kouji walked out from behind Takuya's boulder, holding the plastic rings from a six-pack.   
  
"Pollution is bad. Remember, make sure the pond is void of life before you do choose to throw your litter into it." He wandered over to the pond and looked down into it. After making sure nothing was swimming near the surface, Kouji dropped the plastic item in.   
  
  
  
The planeteers were next, each holding a canned food item. As Takuya opened his mouth to speak, five D-Tectors went off.   
  
The group looked at their D-Tectors as a blue, floating head appeared on the screen.   
  
"Rangers!" the head began.  
  
They screamed.  
  
  
  
Owari  
  
-  
  
Review... Please... 


End file.
